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FAQs

Why would I want to work with a matchmaker?

Lots of reasons! To name some:

1. Matchmakers get a ton of information about each person so they can effectively match people based on a wide variety of dimensions, increasing your chance of a compatible match that will last.
2. Matchmakers generally work with successful professionals. If you're meeting a client, you know they're a driven, self-sufficient individual ready for commitment with the right partner.
3. Your profile remains private, visible only to the matchmakers. This means you can be really open and honest about what you really think and do - and so would others.
4. Matchmakers can work well with people who are open to areas outside of their own city.
5. When hiring a matchmaker, you can learn what someone really thinks about you after a first date. There would be no misreading signals and you have the ability to be conscious of their feedback - and save you more time in next steps.

What makes you different than dating sites?

1. Dating sites don't have an important personal touch where someone gets a human understanding of both people and uses their experience and intuition in addition to data.
2. We collect way more info about people, allowing for you to see if there's a long term fit much faster than meeting people through any other avenue.
3. The apps also want to provide you with as many matches as possible to satiate the never-ending appetite of most users. With matchmaking, it's about disrupting that mentality by focusing on lower quantity and higher quality to give each person a real shot.
4. If you think you're seeing everyone online, you're not. Many people don't do online dating - or aren't on the apps when you are.

What makes you different than other matchmakers?

Traditional matchmaking companies lock you into paying in exchange for a limited service timeframe or a number of matches they are required to fulfill. We know that everyone's search is challenging and with requiring mutual interest for an intro, we like to see how your search goes. We work with you until you're successfully matched. And we don't hold to any quotas that can lead to poor quality pairings and pressure and disappointment on both sides.

We also have an entire network of matchmaking companies utilizing our platform which expands your match possibilities beyond what any one company can do.

What's the difference between the two tiers?

To receive our matchmaking service, you opt in to become a Client. That means we proactively search for you and do different rounds of searching over time. We provide curated match options until we land on the right person. This route gives you way more match options than the Candidate route, as we can present anyone we see fit - including non-paying members from our network and through partner networks (many of them coming from our proactive recruiting). When you're a Client, we can do outreach to partners to see who they have, ask our network of personal contacts, and even recruit candidates on social media. Clients also receive feedback from each first date they go on through DateSpot. On average, you'll get 12 Recommended Dates in a year, but it depends on who you are and your search criteria.

The Candidate route is completely passive - we do not proactively search for you. Your match pool is small as it's only the members willing to pay for matches, whether they come from DateSpot or partner matchmakers. The quality of the matches may be less as we're focused on what the Client is looking for that may match your search enough, but everyone's search is a little aspirational, so you might be "the catch" more for them. You will never pay, but being a Candidate is not recommended if finding love is a priority, since statistically you'll get 1-2 match options per year and success is generally not found with the first pairing.

We hope you will become a Client so we can search for you, but we are happy to allow anyone to join and be eligible for matches, no matter what their background or income.

I tried to sign up, but why couldn't I get past The Basics?

The system purposely will only allow you to continue beyond The Basics section once you have properly entered your location. The location field is a bit tricky as you need to start typing in your city, and then select it from the drop-down in order for it to save correctly. It can take up to 5 seconds for the drop-down menu to appear. Once your location is properly entered, the button to continue will be activated.

How long will it generally take for a matchmaker to contact me?

For Candidates, we don’t have a specific time for any contact. Any match options are determined by the needs of each matchmaking client and whether you meet their preferences. If you book a deep-dive video call, it includes a proactive review of your account so we can let you know the current options with Clients.

For Clients, we contact you after you sign up to send you the Client Handbook about the process, dating tips and resources. We'll also do a 45 min. deep-dive video call to get to know you and clarify the search. Generally, we present a Recommended Date within one month, although it totally depends on your unique search. We like to set up a check-in phone call after two months to discuss the search and how to iterate from there if needed.

What geography do you service?

If you work with one matchmaking company, you're limited to their specific location and where they service. With DateSpot, we expand the possibilities though the entire network of matchmaking companies that have clients all over, making geography irrelevant. We work effectively with clients all across the U.S., and even internationally.

If you live in a small town and want local matches only, DateSpot is a great solution vs. traditional matchmaking companies too as you only pay for an intro.

If you live outside the U.S., feel free to email support@datespot.love for a recommendation to another matchmaking company if you want more proactive, dedicated service.

Do you do background checks?

We do not include background checks with the regular match fee in order to keep costs as low as possible for people, since many people do not require a background check.

However, we do offer background checks as an add-on service. When there's mutual interest in meeting, you can opt for a check we do through BeenVerified for $99. We review the results, which cover criminal history, bankruptcies, career history, social media, and more. You can pay for the check before you make a final decision about meeting the person.

As people generally do not want to share their social security numbers, we do checks without them. This means that we can generally hone in on the right person but cannot guarantee it if it's a common name. There is no refund of the fee as searching for the person still requires a lot of our time. But in most cases we will identify the one individual.

We do not share the report to maintain confidentiality that most people prefer when matchmaking for safety and privacy. Once you've paid for a background check, we will report back with our findings within two business days.

The information contained in any report and what we relay necessarily 100% accurate, complete or up to date, especially concerning such sensitive items as criminal history, relatives, mortgages and liens. The data comes from a wide variety of sources through BeenVerified, but some municipalities and jurisdictions are slow to report and digitize their data.

What is required of me during the matching process?

We have a few simple expectations of you:

  • Treat matchmakers and their clients with respect at all times.
  • Upload accurate information and photos of yourself.
  • Follow through with integrity. If you say you will meet a matchmaker’s client, don’t change your mind unless there is a very good reason.
  • If you go out with a client and a matchmaker requested feedback, provide that feedback as an important part of the iterative matchmaking process. They can shed light on whether a second date makes sense. If it turns out to be a great connection, they will better understand why. If it’s not a lasting connection, the info can be used to better match both the client and you in the future.
  • Please keep all information about members, clients and matchmakers confidential. This is a special platform where everyone’s privacy is respected.
Do you do blind dates?

With DateSpot member-to-member matching, generally no. Physical attraction is an important part of a relationship and we believe there needs to be a baseline for a relationship to get off the ground. We send Recommended Dates to our members that include a ton of info about the potential match as well as multiple photos.

That said, we can do blind dates if that is the process you prefer. Just recognize that the pool of candidates is smaller since many people do not opt into them.

Also, many of our partner matchmaking companies do blind dates - either always or sometimes based on the client's preference or package. If you're trying to get the most amount of match options, we suggest selecting that you're open to blind dates when asked in your account.

Each time we reach out about a particular match opportunity, we like to disclose whether it would be a blind date or not as we want to set expectations correctly. You're always able to say yes or no, or ask us if we don't mention it.

What is your success rate?

Throughout her matchmaking career, DateSpot's founder has successfully matched up dozens of couples who have gotten married. Many others were together after one year, so could still be together as far as she knows! Some people contacted her years later thanking her for her efforts and the impact she has had in their lives.

We're happy to share that two couples who met through DateSpot are already married, and both have now had babies. Our founder was thrilled to even officiate a wedding for one of them in 2022.

We hope you'll be our next success story and invite Carla to your wedding!

Who are your members?

While we're based in the U.S. and the vast majority of our members are there, our members are global. They span a wide range in demographics, including age, ethnicity, religion, and lifestyle.

Our youngest members are 18 and there is no cap on the upper limit. Our youngest Client so far has been 24 and oldest has been 92 - quite a range!

The gender ratio across our database is about evenly split between men and women (and we do offer an option to say whether your gender identify doesn't fit into one of those options).

Inclusion is one of our core values. We allow everyone to join the database, and we think there is a “lid for every pot.”

The only exceptions for who we would never match would be people in a relationship seeking infidelity, or anyone who violates our code of conduct or disrespects people.

Do you match LGBTQ+ individuals?

Yes, definitely! We have many LGBTQ+ members. We actually get a lot of referrals of people in the community from other matchmakers who do not service them due to a lack of appropriate candidates.

Also, our partnerships with LGBTQ+ focused matchmaking companies allows us to match gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, queer, and other individuals in a unique way - without paying the large amounts needed to work with them as a client. If you end up wanting more match options than what we deliver, we can refer you to a more specialized company that we recommend.

Do you work with the poly community?

Occasionally people into ENM (ethical non-monogamy or polyamory as a variation) request matchmaking services. Some people want relationships that are "monogamish", where there is a primary partner desired but there is the mutual ability to have experiences with others.

If you're into ethnical non-monogamy or considering it, as long as you are interested in equal, honest, open, and loving relationships, we are happy to accept and match you. You can sign up straightaway or visit our ENM matchmaking page.

Do you meet everyone you match?

Yes. With DateSpot member-to-member matching, we do video calls if we have not met them in person. When we send a profile to a Client, we generally include whether we have met the match already. If we have not, you can let us know if you want us to do a video call in order to make a decision.

As for any intros with partner matchmaker clients, we do not meet them and do not necessarily vouch for those pairings. Though we may reject any particular request, they are at the discretion of the partner matchmaker.

Who sees my account and info?

We take your privacy very seriously.

Only the DateSpot team and our partner matchmakers can see your account. That should put you at ease that you don't have to craft witty responses, and you can be completely honest.

Not just anyone can access the database. Our partner matchmakers in the DateSpot network have been rigorously screened to ensure they are reputable professionals in the industry.

Members - whether Clients or Candidates - cannot view each other's accounts. Instead, we write individual profiles in a Google doc, merging info from your account, any emails, a consultation if applicable, and our own impressions of the person. By default, the Google doc is open to anyone who has the link, because we only share it selectively. If you choose to have it set privately to only those with specific access, we can accommodate that.

Also, if you prefer total privacy without photos of yourself shown to other members, we can arrange blind dates with other members and partner clients who are open to blind dates.

We do not share or sell your information to any marketing lists.

If you choose to purchase a partner service (photo shoot, styling, or relationship advising), we may pass along some info and/or photos to facilitate and get you the best results.

Please contact support@datespot.love if you have any questions or concerns about privacy.

How do I cancel my membership?

If you're in an exclusive relationship but not yet engaged or married, it's a better option to change your relationship status in your Account Settings to allow us to check in about your status in the future if there's an identified match.

But if you're married, engaged, or otherwise know you want to never hear from us again, you can cancel your membership at any point. To cancel, log into your account > Account Settings > Account Status > change to "Inactive". Alternatively, you can send the request to support@datespot.love.

We fully respect your privacy, we will not pass along your information to anyone else.

Know that if you cancel, we won’t be contacting any matchmaking companies that have already paid to connect with you and thus gained access to your email and account info. You would have known and approved any of these and received intros to them, so you'll know who to contact if you want them to remove you there as well.

We hope that eventually you will cancel your account because you're successfully matched up!

Can I buy matchmaking for a family member?

That is so kind of you to think about paying for your child, sibling, or parent! We absolutely do gift memberships, where you pay for each mutual match for someone else. There is just a $195 fee upfront for the video call.

Learn more here. Thank you from both us and them!