It’s a new year, and a new chance to start fresh. If you’re one of the 43% of Americans who are not making a resolution, you’re either totally not the audience for this post, or totally the right one, depending on how you look at it. The fact is that making commitments, writing them down and revisiting them occasionally throughout the year can help you reach your goals. So excuses like you don’t have time or you’re afraid you’ll break them just aren’t enough. Everyone - I mean everyone - should really be making at least one resolution of what they want to achieve.
It’s interesting that most popular resolutions are health and fitness related. Believe it or not, finding the right partner doesn’t make the list of the top seven resolutions for 2025. But there’s a lot of singles out there! So for those who do want to find love this year, start now (if you haven’t already) to get intentional, strategic, and insightful. It’s time for a powerful, actionable resolution.
But where do you start, and how do you keep it? Read on to create a goal for the year that you can stick to…to find a partner you can stick with.
Step 1: Reflect on the Past Year
First, take a few minutes to reflect on your dating experiences last year. Ask yourself and write down:
- What worked well in my dating life?
- What challenges were there?
- Were there any patterns I can identify?
- Have I had any limiting beliefs that have held me back?
- Am I currently in a “situationship” that I want to move forward from?
- What do I want to do differently this year?
Understanding your past behaviors is key to helping you act in the future.
Step 2: Revisit Partner Criteria
Jot down what you were looking for in a partner - label each with preferences vs. criteria. Unless you’ve been totally open to just a great overall person, chances are you have some ideas that are not serving you. If you have a list (even if only in your head), it could be part of the problem.
There is no hard and fast rule, but a general guideline is to keep 5 pieces of strict criteria about a partner, and the rest should be preferences. Let yourself prioritize what you must have and won’t compromise on. Then let yourself be surprised. And staying more open with criteria means opening up your pool of potentials. You still have the chance to say yes or no to anyone - we’re not talking about hopping down the aisle with the next person you swipe right on.
There’s a lot of common criteria that people often have limitations around that later people realize are not actually as important at the level they thought. A common one is around finances – know that your partner can make less than you and still be financially stable and be able to travel and do fun things together. Ethnicity is another – you may not have been attracted to a certain heritage previously, but those preferences can change, and you certainly want to be careful about making stereotypes apply to everyone, especially those born and raised in the US. Geography is another one – people often think their partner needs to be very close to them in proximity, when there are wonderful people outside their area who are open to moving. These are just a few ideas.
Take your list and highlight up to five pieces of criteria. Identify the rest that you want to roll over to a preference this year. Cross out the rest.
Step 3: Define Your Goal(s) & Plan
The broad goal of “find love” can be inspiring, but may feel overwhelming and hard to achieve. It also can get hard to define success if you end 2025 dating someone promising but you’re not sure it’s love yet. For maximum impact, you’ll want to choose something more specific. And keep it realistic. For example:
- Meet more people to help my odds of finding love.
- Practice better communication by being honest about my feelings.
- Get better about how I present myself on a first date.
- Be more intentional about who I choose to date.
- Build confidence.
- Put my previous heartbreak in the past.
Choose one or two key goals that resonate most with you and write them down. But resolutions without a plan are just wishes. So then outline a clear strategy to achieve those goals. For example:
- Goal: Go on at least two first dates per month until I’m exclusive with someone
- Get a friend or expert to review and optimize your dating app profile.
- Join a new social or hobby group to meet people in person.
- Tell friends you’re open to being set up on dates.
- Join a matchmaking service (like DateSpot).
- Goal: Build confidence
- Say one positive affirmation each day out loud.
- Get support from a dating coach, life advisor, or therapist.
- Read a book or article about building self-esteem.
- Sit at a restaurant bar and strike up a conversation with the person next to me once a month.
Step 4: Hold Yourself Accountable
To stay on track with your resolution:
- Set Deadlines: adding in milestones or target dates to each actionable piece is helpful in making it happen.
- Track Your Progress: Keep a journal or checklist to note your efforts and reflect on what’s working.
- Find an Accountability Partner: Share your goals with a trusted friend who can encourage you and check in on your progress. It’s a good idea to review what’s working either with yourself or your accountability partner at the start of each month, and add it to the calendar.
- Set rewards for meeting each actionable goal: This serves as an incentive and also makes the process more fun by celebrating your wins along the way.
- Adjust as needed: It’s totally ok to make adjustments if a particular approach isn’t working. Flexibility can help you stay committed to the main goal if there are unexpected challenges, rather than just giving up.
Step 5: Focus on Growth
Resolutions aren’t about being perfect; they’re about progress. Personally, I’ve always loved New Year’s Eve and day. Part of it is that it’s a time to reflect and become a better person. I feel strongly that it doesn’t actually matter if you achieve your goal by Dec. 31. The point is that you’re trying, and you’re setting an intention and taking action to get there. That way, if you don’t meet your goal, you can at least say you did what you could do. And perhaps you’ve laid some excellent groundwork for success the following year. It’s all about self-growth and effort to eventually get what and where you want. Remember that any setbacks should be learning opportunities.
So take control of your love life more this year. Who knows? This could be the year you meet someone truly special — or deepen the love you already have for yourself.
